Happy Birthday
October 23, 2000
Today is a very special day....it is my best friend's birthday. Even though we are not together....in my heart, I am celebrating with him. This quote by Herman Hesse describes how I feel about him....If I know what love is, it is because of you :-)
You are listening to Swear It Again by Westlife
I wanna know
Whoever told you I was letting go
Of the only joy that I have ever known
Girl they're lying
Just look around
And all of the people that we used to know
Have just given up, they wanna let it go
But we're still trying
So you should know this love we share was never made to die
I'm glad we're on this one way street, just you and I
Just you and I
I'm never gonna say goodbye
'Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again, and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
'Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again
All over again
Some people say
That everything has got it's place and time
Even the day must give way to the night
But I'm not buying
'Cos in your eyes
I see a love that burns eternally
And if you see how beautiful you are to me
You'll know I'm not lying
Sure there'll be times we wanna say goodbye
But even if we tried
There are some things in this life won't be denied
Won't be denied
I'm never gonna say goodbye
'Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again, and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
'Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again
The more I know of you is the more I know I love you
And more that I'm sure I want you forever and ever more
The more that you love me, the more that I know
Oh that I'm never gonna let you go
Gotta let you know that I
I'm never gonna say goodbye
'Cos I never wanna see you cry
I swore to you my love would remain
And I swear it all over again, and I
I'm never gonna treat you bad
'Cos I never wanna see you sad
I swore to share your joy and your pain
And I swear it all over again
Well, Baby, I'm not sure when you might find this....but I believe in my heart that you will read this one day. I hope you know that I wanted to do something special for your birthday, but I was limited....so I thought I would share this past few days with you on these pages. I thought about how we could have celebrated if we had been together. With the beautiful Indian summer we are having, maybe we could have spent the day riding your bike, picnicking at the park....just making memories. I thought about how special birthdays are in my family. It is the one day out of the entire year that is just our day, to choose exactly what we want to eat and do. It is becoming more difficult to all get together since everyone has a different schedule, but sometime we all stop and have a party. We celebrated my brother and my brother-in-law's birthdays only a few weeks ago. Of course, both actual birthdays had come and gone, but no one seemed to mind. As a matter of fact, my brother-in-law couldn't believe he was getting presents. He thought it was just for my brother....can't believe he thought we had forgotten him. Of course, we had a meal together. We shared a huge cookie with my brother. It was decorated with 18 candles and a picture of his latest passion....a motorcycle. Like everyone, he loves presents. His eyes were so happy as he opened present after present....Veggie Tale videos, Left Behind series books, and of course cash designated specifically for his motorcycle equipment. There was no doubt he was very satisfied, especially with his new helmet. My brother-in-law is a graphic artist, specializing in animation. Even though he is always appreciative of any gift, he was really excited about his new jacket....decorated with Looney Tunes. He loves those little guys....especially Daffy Duck. Yeah, he liked all his presents, but he really loved that jacket....and the German sweet chocolate cake made especially for him. That cake is becoming a tradition. Guess I may have to try it one of these years. Brian, the point of this story is that I thought of you and how you would celebrate your birthday. I looked at the presents and realized that a lot of them would have satisfied you also. But something else came to mind when I thought of you. Just like my brother and my brother-in-law, your eyes would have been shining....with the appreciation you felt for the simple celebration of family and friends. I sat there for the second year in a row, enjoying the time of fellowship. Once again, I was reminded of the part you played in my life, to help me feel this wonderful feeling of contentment at having fun....doing nothing. You know how I feel, Brian, that God brought you into my life to show me love. Every day, I thank God for you....and the unselfish love you showed me. I know that even though you would have been thankful for the presents, you would have been more thankful for the time spent with family and friends....knowing how difficult it was for all of us to be together. Thank you, Brian, for giving me a beautiful appreciation for time spent just simply enjoying the sounds of voices....sharing and laughing....making memories. You know that I missed some of those family celebrations, until I met you. Even though they took place only a few feet from my room, I often chose to not participate from beginning to end....but now I would never miss a family party, by choice. I know that you are such a strong believer in the fact that love is more than words. I read recently that the time spent between scheduled events is the most special time for friends....the time spent waiting together....doing nothing. I know you would agree. When I found the story that is on tomorrow's page, I thought of you. I can still hear you saying....be good and be careful. The little girl is a reminder to me of the quiet rebel I used to be. Because of you, I recognize love more easily and I'm learning to "listen for love". Thank you, Brian, for giving me an appreciation for the sounds and sights of love, which is something that can only happen....when we actually open our hearts and participate in life...
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