Perspective on Vietnam

From time to time it is good to reflect upon the blessings we have as citizens of this great nation. Last Veterans Day I attended a ceremony at the Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington DC. The Pledge of Allegiance was presided over by U.S. Marine Corp Major Qnang X, Pham, a native of Vietnam. I was struck by the freedom now enjoyed by Major Pham which are not shared by those he left behind. I could not help in reflecting upon my own experience during the Vietnam War.

Thirty some years ago I lay in a hospital bed in Yokohama, Japan recovery from infections that were the result of otherwise minor war wounds. I had spent the first part of the year in Vietnam, where I had little time to think about what I was doing in the war. But, as I stared at the ceiling of my hospital room, I thought about what I had been through. It had been tough, but I know that I had done what other soldiers had done in other wars: my best to do my duty under harsh circumstances.

Three months later, I went back to 'the world', back to the United States, where, to my surprise, I was not welcomed home like other soldiers of other wars. Most people did not want to hear my story. So for nearly thirty years I have kept quiet. Except for other veterans of this war, few would know what I had seen and what I had felt. The impact of our experience has profoundly influenced us. I am not sure I can adequately describe my experience, but I owe to myself, my children and to my country to try.

I arrived in South Vietnam in February 1968. I was assigned as an Infantry Platoon Leader in the 1O1st Airborne "Screaming Eagles" Division. The communist North Vietnamese Army and the Vietcong had launched the now infamous Tet Offensive, a countrywide assault upon the major population centers and much of the countryside. The US military went on a counter offensive, which in hindsight was largely a military success. There was intense fighting through much of the rest of 1968. Reading now about the war in 1968 you would think we bad been defeated. The truth is that we were successful on the battlefield but the counteroffensive was a public relations disaster back home. At the time all I could see was what one infantry platoon was doing in a very small part of a very large jungle.

Most of what Americans know about our national experience in Vietnam has to do with war crimes like Mai Lai, or of gruesome depictions of civilian casualties such as the famous photo of that naked 12 year old girl fleeing her village aflame or of the VC being executed with a bullet to the head. People remember Agent Orange or drug abuse or post-stress syndrome. Or they still argue about how and why we got there and why we didn't leave sooner. Incredibly most do not know of the honorable, hard service by most of us who served. Most Americans do not want to know and most veterans do not want to talk about what it was like.

We did not always know what was going on. Sometimes we sat for hours or days waiting for orders. Sometimes it was even boring. We dreamt of home- of American girls, of cars and of hamburgers. We lived for letters from home. We counted the days until we would return. We also fought fierce battles for small amounts of ground or to just tally a body count.

The food was lousy. The bugs were everywhere. Your clothes were soaked. There was nowhere to be comfortable. You could not even relieve yourself in private. A sound nights sleep was impossible. Death was always close.

Some days, we would be called on to cradle a soldier in our arms, both of you knowing he would soon be dead. You will never forget the plaintiff sound of his voice asking for morphine, or the warmth of his intestines on your hand as we tried pressing them back into his body, or his final fixed stare at you - one moment alive the next dead.

It is impossible now to explain why you kept blowing air in the mouth of a friend even after he threw up in yours, even after you knew he was dead. You just wanted to yell at him for dying, but you couldn't. The way we fell exhausted unable even to cry and a moment later, were rocked back into fighting by a shot overhead. Or how explosions would cause us to lose control of our bladders or suck the wind out of us. The smells made us gag. The sights caused us to tremble. But still, like soldiers in every war, we had a job to do.

And, finally, some of us went home. But there were no parades. We had no Ernie Pyle to record our battles or "Saving Private Ryan" to tell about our heroics. We have been looked upon as kooks or crazies or, by some, as victims. But that is not who we are. We are your neighbors. your stockbrokers, your lawyers, your handymen, your child's teachers. It was hard service in a difficult and unpopular war. But we served out of a sense of duty. We were forever changed, physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. We learned about sacrifice, courage, determination and the honor of duty well performed.

Most of us never asked for a hero's welcome, as most of us were not heroes. But we want you to know what we went through and to be welcomed home like soldiers from America's other wars. But most of all, we want you to appreciate the freedoms and liberties we all enjoy in this country and the part men and women veterans have done to insure them.

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